Change Management; Romans 12:2

"Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.  Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is - his good, pleasing and perfect will."

Change... anyone out there actually like that word or what that means when it comes to your life?  I know that for most including myself, change is HARD!!  This weekend I have spent much time walking down memory lane as we had to say good-bye to a long time friend, our precious Shepherd mix, Sheena.  Some will never understand my love of dogs or how attached I get to them, but I, from the depths of my heart, will never understand someone who doesn't attach to one of the most loyal devoted and loving creatures on this earth.  I believe God knew we humans wouldn't get it right so he went searching for a being that would love like he does, who doesn't hold grudges or the past against another, but loves deeply and shows it as each moment is new and all is forgiven.  He found dogs and well the rest is history.  My dogs have seen me at my worst and at my best and it really didn't matter to them which I was, I simply needed to be breathing and they were going to be loving on me and teaching me lesson after lesson about the heart of Christ.  Stop shaking your head, non-dog loving people!  Some of you know exactly what I am talking about.

The word in Romans tells us to not conform but be transformed and renewed in our minds.  Why is that so important?  Why is change so important when it is often the most difficult thing to do?  Can you imagine seriously if you never changed in life?  Can you think of your earliest memory and to have remained there unchanged for all your life?  What a disaster!  Change often is the very thing that makes us grow as people, it makes us stronger and better equipped at being there for other people.  Although change is difficult, it is necessary. 

God has called us each by name and with that he has designed a purpose and a plan over our life.  Some have a road less bumpy and yet others, their road is often filled with potholes, hills and sometimes extremely sharp curves.  That is where often I find friends and people around me complaining that life isn't fair and why should they have to endure certain trials or tragedies when so and so seems to have it so easy.  I probably have complained in this same way at some point in my life but I've learned through my trials and struggles I have found new strengths inside.  I have been tested and tried and in the end I have found the will of God working in my life, teaching me on how to become a better friend, a better mentor or a better family member.  I could sit down and complain and grumble about the things happening in my life or I can understand that through change, through the struggle of whatever I am facing, I can become what God has called me to be and in that find peace.

This weekend was hard.  I didn't want to have to say good-bye to a companion who has stuck by me for 13 years wagging her tail and getting excited just because I woke up and looked her way.  She didn't care if I woke with my hair a mess or my breath offensive, she just cared that she saw me and I saw her and to her that was enough.  When are we going to get that we have enough?  When are we going to get that even in our trials and changes, we can find joy in knowing that we are on a journey that God himself placed us on?  Jesus went to the cross... how about that for a really bad day?

Right now I have some struggles going on, its difficult because I know my life is changing and you know what, it really does suck!  Yes, I just wrote that and God really knows that is how I feel so I am going to leave it there and whoever doesn't like it, well... God bless your heart anyway.  I am being as real as I can be with anyone who is reading this because change is Biblical and it is necessary for you to grow.  Endure for a while my friend, because God is working out something in your life towards a specific goal, his will, his PERFECT will for you.  I can tell you this, no matter how difficult the storm, I do know that he knows better than I in working out the details of my life including the change.  He has perfected Change Management even if industry today thinks they made that process up. 

What areas of your life is God wanting to change, to transform?  Where is he asking you to go or better yet to let go of so that you can be in his perfect will?  Is it time for a little change management in your life?

Under His Wings,
Heather

Dedicated to the Loving Memory of

Sheena Christoff

2001-2014

 

Well done good and faithful friend, your race has been run, time to rest.

 



Purposed; Jeremiah 29:11

^" I say this because I know what I am planning for you,” says the Lord. “I have good plans for you, not plans to hurt you. I will give you hope and a good future."  (NCV)

This is my life verse.  When life gets messy, and we all know it does, I turn to this scripture and know and trust that my God, my Creator, has a plan for my life and not just any plan but a GOOD plan with a GOOD future.  I happen to be the one who gets in the way and messes it all up because I try to make things happen my way and according to my plans.  Why do I do this... I am not sure, but if you figure out why you do it, will you please write and share with me?

There have been a lot of things on my mind lately as I take on new challenges and face new obstacles.  Some of the plans that have been discussed about my future I will admit have scared me. I feel the old Heather, from many years ago, who would shrink back out of fear that I wasn't good enough or strong enough or smart enough was trying to creep back in and claim my trust and faith in God who wrote in his very word... He has a plan and a future for me, not to harm me but to give me HOPE.  How or why would I have any doubt when I know He has me and has all of my tomorrows worked out?  He knows what he is planning for me and its all good... even the messy parts. 

This week as I was driving home from work I had one of those messages.  You know, one of those that you almost stop your car (or wreck it) because you feel like you have someone in the car with you and you freak out because there shouldn't be anyone in the car with you?  Ok... some of you are getting this right now but some of you are thinking that I am totally crazy.  All would be correct. :)   Anyway... I just felt God speak to my heart with one simple message.  HE PLACES ME IN POSITION TO BE HIS HANDS, HIS FEET AND TO BE HIS MOUTHPIECE.  It is not me who places me in position of authority or leadership, but it is the Great I AM who puts me in place because he has a plan and a purpose over my life. 

Many years ago on a retreat, a dear friend of mine who was my partner going over a series of questions late that night, stated that there are some people God calls to lead and some he calls to be behind the scenes and support those leaders.  She told me then God didn't call me into a supporting role but to lead.  I shook my head and she laughed at me.  I started to get mad at her but instead I had to accept this was my fate.  Susan... I Love You, Sis.  I probably never told you that you were right because... well because I didn't want you to be right.  I never thought that I would lead, I was happy to play the support role but it rarely works out that way.  You see, God has other plans and he continues to grow and stretch me to limits I didn't know I could reach.

Today while sitting in church, my Pastor (little did he know) shared the very words God had shared with me this week in quieting my fears and reminding me that he has purposed my life, not just in the big moments but in the every day moments too... I simply need to get out of my own way and let him fulfill those purposes within my life.  He doesn't need my help in making his plans come to realization... He just needs me to say, "Yes".  It's so much easier when I do.

On any given day, I will tell you that I am a mess.  Perhaps I would even share that I was a hot mess (you know at my age, hot can break out in a "flash" of a moment).  I make tons of mistakes!  I hurt people, I yell at people on the highway because they don't drive as perfect as me (stop laughing, you know you do it too), I bend the rules to suit my own plans and I just don't handle situations as well as I should.  I will be the first to admit, I am an imperfect earthen vessel, my Emmaus peeps will truly understand that statement.  I am full of mistakes and thankfully God sees them all and he still loves me and uses them to continue to press onward in the purpose and plans he has for me inspite of all the detours I throw out there.  I often hear people call Christians hypocrites because they stumble or mess up.  It saddens me when I hear other Christians call one another this... because they know better!  Being a Christian means I accept that I am flawed and I will mess up... but it also means, I have a forgiving God who continues to work out his plan and purpose in my life no matter how much of a hot mess I am.  He sent his son to die on a cross because he has been to each and every one of my tomorrows and has seen me stumble and fall and in each one of those moments, he picks me up, brushes me off and wraps his arms around me and says even after that... I still love you and I still have a GOOD plan and a Good future for your life.

Do you feel like sometimes God just doesn't care or has left you on your own to fulfill your own purpose, your own destiny?  Do you recognize that God is GOD and no matter what you do, how horribly you mess up, that he is going to still provide you with a hope and a good future?  God has seen every one of your tomorrows and he has purposed for you a life that may not have been what you would have chosen and it may be hard more times than you care for it to be... but He has a purpose for you that only you can fulfill.  Trust Him and step out of your own way so He can show you all that he has planned for you.

Under His Wings,
Heather

Connected; Proverbs 17:17

"A friend loves at all times..."

I KNOW!! ... an actual blog posting, where have I been and why so long with no post right?  Sorry... it's been a crazy time but today I just couldn't get a topic that God clearly laid on my heart off it until I got up out of my comfy bed and began to write this blog post.

So yesterday I was in one of my bored moments from being down from some surgery (yes I'm fine... just taking time to heal) and went on FB.  That's what we do isn't it?  When we can't be out living life we go on our social media sites and we live life through those that are actually out there living.  I saw all the posts of what my FB family was up to and smiled as I looked through pics and saw posts of good times. I frowned and even cried at some pics and posts that showed what some were "living" that aren't their happier moments right now.  But regardless of good or bad times... most of the FB friends on my list were still living.  Then it hit me, some of my friends on my friend list aren't with us anymore.  I don't know about you but that's always a tough one for me... what do you do?  Unfriend them?  They are still friends, a friend loves at ALL times.  Seems so horrible to "unfriend" but the truth is... they aren't here anymore to get our status updates or our pictures of the good and bad living and my guess is that they really aren't missing the posts all that much as they live out their eternity outside of their earthly home.  It's a reality and it's not an easy one to have to face because I am one of the few that actually know and have met just about every single person that I'm "friends" with on FB except for some family members that I will one day meet, promise!

I began going through my list of friends and spent time looking at each and every one and thinking back to the time I met them or what my memories were of them.  With some I don't recall much, maybe someone from High School or from a past job that I may not have known all that well but it's been really neat to see how their life is going and how they are living out their dreams.  With others, there are a ton of memories and there are even those friends on FB that I have more memories than could ever be documented because of how connected we have remained over the course of life.  WE LIVED and are LIVING life both good and bad and have those precious memories of one another to cherish.  I happen to be a girl who has some of the most amazing friends in the world and that is NOT an exaggeration. 

As I went through the list intent of making it a smaller one because I could not possibly have that many people in my life, I managed to "unfriend" quite a few because of personal reasons, wishing them nothing but great things in life but just don't feel they need to be included in my world, in my life being lived.  What I was fascinated by was how many are active people in my life.  I mean we see each other by either hanging out, attending church or Emmaus functions, working together, etc.  And family, who can forget family?  I happen to have one crazy messed up group of folks to call family and I LOVE IT!  Because I am just as crazy and messed up as they are and they love me for who I am just as I love them.

I continued down the list of friends recounting memories or wondering what must this person think of me as they knew me when... fill in the blank.  Or have I been the best friend I could have been to this person?  Was I kind?  Have I let them know they matter and that they have left an unforgettable imprint on my heart and my life?  Without each and every person on that friend list... I would not be who I am today.  I have been connected in some way to those on "my list".  There are some on my friend list (outside of family) that I have known for close to 40 years.  They have seen me change, evolve and hopefully grow into a better person.  They have loved me as their friend through ALL times and I have loved them.  The outgoing, outspoken, jump in there and never meet a stranger woman you see today is because of those friends and the imprint they left there.  In High School I wasn't outgoing, I wasn't outspoken and I certainly knew many strangers because I would have rather blended in to the walls around me then have to look up into the eyes of some of my classmates.  But my classmates who were friends... they wouldn't let me.  We laughed together, cried together, experienced heart ache together, disliked some of the same people, liked some of the same boys (I will never tell) and got each other through the perils of some tough classes.  I see them on my friend list and I smile because they now have families and lives and we are still connected.  I don't believe a single person on "my list" is on there by accident but by divine intervention.  I know some of my friends have and will always think my Christian faith is nonsense and I still pray for them just as the day I met them.  :)  I also have those friends who share my faith and are some of the first I turn to when I need a friend to pray with me and help me get through something I don't understand because they share a little bit of their faith when mine grows weary. 

I'm glad to be connected to so many friends on FB but I'm even more glad to have friends that love me at all times and not just my good ones.  I am thankful that I have friends who know my faults, who know I mess up and who know my life and they still choose to let me be on their "friend list".  My plan is to reconnect after my time of healing and catch up with some of you.   

This blog post was about remaining connected and appreciating friends who love at all times even times when we don't see one another or get to chat or talk.  I wanted to take a moment and let you know, if you are on my FB friend list... I thought about you this week, not just a fleeting moment but I thought about you, how I met you, if we have any memories that we have shared and how you have impacted my life or I could have impacted yours.  I took time this week to pray for each of you on "my list" and thanked God for you and the imprint you left on my life.

Has any friend come to your mind lately that you haven't seen or talked to for a while?  Is there a friend that could use a moment of your time to reconnect?  Is it time to do a "friend list" cleanup?  Is it time to learn to be a friend?  WE all have a friend in Jesus and he taught us how to be a friend to one another through unconditional love and a whole heaping of grace and forgiveness. 

Til next post, friend....

Under His Wings,
Heather

Held; Revelation 21:4

"He will wipe every tear from their eyes.  There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away."

February 12th is one of the hardest days I face each year and this year was exceptionally hard for many reasons, but in large part due to it marking the 20th anniversary of my Nigel's passing.  For those that have never had this kind of great loss, you may think after 20 years one could simply be past the deep heartache of saying good-bye.  This simply isn't true.  Most days you wake and tuck that part of brokenness away and keep it buried, but every once in a while a day surfaces that you simply can't hide from it and the pain becomes your closest companion with or without permission.

I was reminded this year, as I often am each year, that I have people around me who love me, who pray for me and who encourage me to turn my heartache into compassion for those that can't find their way out of despair or for those whose journey with pain has just begun.  I was also gently reminded by my dear friend, Alisa, that for 20 years, God has been my constant companion even during those times that pain has joined me on my journey.   Its on days like February 12th that God, my father, simply holds me and allows me to rest upon him and cry.  His word in Revelation tells us that he wipes away every tear and one day there will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain.  This comforts me to know that one day pain will no longer be my companion, but an old order that will pass away.

In life we have many ups and downs.  We experience losses in many ways, some greater than others, but it's in the way we persevere that shows and defines our true character.  I'm amazed time and time again when someone shares with me their shock when finding out about my son or about some part of my life that seems to be something that they feel they could not survive.  I don't wear the heartache around my neck like a noose allowing it to rob me of some joy I can find in each day if I choose to look for it.  Each day I get the choice to allow other companions to walk alongside of me instead of pain.  I can choose happiness, peace, love and contentment to accompany me.  I can choose to devalue the life of my son by being everything that he wasn't.  Nigel chose through all his suffering and his pain to still smile, and not just the fake smile that too often people put on their faces, but an infectious smile that came from his very beautiful and loving soul.  His smile was genuine and honestly it encouraged me more than anything or anyone ever could or can.  His smile came from his heavenly father who was always his faithful companion.  I believe in every moment of his treatments, his surgeries, his blood transfusions, etc that God the father was holding my little boy and comforting him.  Some may question if God is such a loving father why did Nigel have to go through any of it... I honestly don't know except to tell you that through Nigel's journey, many hearts and lives were forever changed.  More compassion was planted in people's hearts, more love shared, more time spent and relationships created.  The scripture tells us that God uses ALL THINGS for his glory... even the bad parts.  We are a broke mess of a people but God continues to work in perfecting us by chipping away all the ugly parts and turning us into his masterpieces. 

I have experienced in life great joys and great sorrows and along the way I've had God experience those with me along with some of the most wonderful people.  Some people have come into my life for a season and some for a lifetime but all for a purpose.  I have experienced love both for and from others but never a love greater than that of Jesus Christ.  He gave it all for me even when I don't deserve it.  God surrounds me by special angels on this earth in the form of amazing friendships.  My best friend of 20+ years has literally been through everything with me.  She has been there for my moments of joy and has been my rock in my moments of great sadness.  I cherish our friendship like none other because I know no matter what I face, she will be my biggest supporter standing right beside me.  Laura is the kind of friend that I hope each person reading this blog is blessed to have.  When I begin to doubt (and I do sometimes) if I'm "good enough" to be loved by an amazing God, I think of her devotion to me as my friend and I know that if she can see beyond my flaws, then the one who created me definitely can.  I count myself blessed that I have been given people in my life that I can truly trust with my heart and know God has purposed them for me.  You know who you are and I hope you know how much I cherish each and every moment with you and just how much I love you. 

If today you need the companions of pain and suffering to leave your side to be replaced with peace and joy, simply call on your heavenly Father.  What part of your life do you need God to turn mourning into laughter, tears into smiles or anger into happiness?  Are you willing to accept his will and his plan for your life instead of your own even perhaps heading out on a different road than you ever imagined? 


Under His Wings,
Heather

~~^~~Dedicated to Matthew "Nigel" Williams~~^~~

Aug 10, 1990 - Feb 12, 1994

 

 

Guard Your Heart; Matthew 6:21 & Proverbs 4:23

"For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."   "Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it." 

I know that typically I use a single scripture to get my point across... but think about it. When talking about the matters of the heart I really can't use enough scriptures to fully understand God's heart and the heart he has placed inside each of us to mirror his own.

Your heart, not referring to the vital organ of you flesh, but the vital organ of your soul is a treasure to God, his gift to you.  Why is it that we so freely give it away and have it broken time and time again?  Do you think that was his plan for us, to have it broken, used, torn or divided?  I don't think it was or is, but yet I'm guilty of not guarding the very part of me that is to be the reflection of His.  Our bodies were designed to surround and to protect the heart that beats inside our chest and yet we find ways to damage it.   So what protects the heart of our soul?  Are we protecting it by surrounding it with care or are we so eager to be accepted and "loved" that we leave it unprotected, unguarded? 

Proverbs says to guard our heart above all else, why... because everything we do flows from it.  Our character, strength, values, love for God and others... they all come from the heart of who we are.  Too often we allow relationships and circumstances to damage our heart and we shutdown, build up walls or worse yet leave it unguarded and are left broken, hurt and damaged.  Our hearts were given to us to love one another, to lift one another up, to encourage, to correct, to be a source of strength.  But we have allowed so many people and things to break our hearts that we become weak and in need of repair.  

We are to treasure our heart because God himself treasures it.  We have a responsibility to guard it against attacks from the enemy and not allow just anyone or just anything into the deep recesses of our heart.  Treat your heart as precious and valuable, its a place that the enemy would love to destroy but a place where God himself resides.  I pray when people see me, speak to me or listen to me that what they see is a reflection of God's heart. 

I know that some of you are thinking that you didn't intentionally let your heart be broken but instead circumstance and deceptive people are at fault.  The way you guard it now is to not allow anyone or anything to see your true heart.  I wish it was that easy, just to throw up the walls and not let anyone peek inside the beautiful places of your heart... but how can you reflect God if you shut the world out?  Then again how do you guard it if you let the world in?  Confusing?  Not really.  What I've learned is that the Holy Spirit that resides within my heart will speak to me (you know that little voice you hear deep within), giving you wisdom as to what to allow into your heart and what to guard against.  Not everyone and not everything deserves a place in your heart.  Listen to the guidance of the Holy Spirit, learning to hear his voice and not turn away from the instruction being given.  I've never been lead astray by listening to the Holy Spirit but have often listened to my own will above God's and there I have found suffering and pain. 

Can I be protected from ever feeling pain?  Of course not, sometimes through the pain I've learned my greatest lessons in life.  Sometimes through great tragedy I have found a strength within that I didn't know existed.  I have become a better person to help another.  A guarded heart doesn't mean you will never feel pain or loss, but it will save you from having to go through unnecessary suffering and will leave you with a resolve to keep pressing forward. 

What are you failing to guard your heart against?  Is that relationship really one God has willed for your life or is it one you willed for your life?  Will it leave you a better person or a bitter person?  Will that circumstance you are in, or about to enter, leave you broken or is it something that will lead you into a better one on the other side?  Are you treasuring the heart God has given you or are you letting your guard down for the enemy to steal the priceless jewel that is your heart?

Under His Wings,
Heather



 

Breathe; Job 6:24

"Teach me, and I will be quiet; show me where I have been wrong."

The holidays are behind us along with the rush of all the things that we find ourselves trying to accomplish to make it the "perfect holiday" for our family and friends.  This year seemed to be exceptionally busy even to the point that for the first time ever, I did not decorate a tree or bake holiday treats in usual fashion or do any of what are my own personal traditions for Christmas.  The season seem to have happened so quickly and before I knew it... it was over.  What happened?  Ahh yes... I tried to plan 60 days worth of "stuff" into a 31 day window!  Anyone else ever guilty of that?  When will this lady learn?  Maybe this will be the year.

While contemplating what 2014 will bring and how I will approach it and of course how I will fill up that mighty calendar, I sat for a moment and realized how the entire 2013 year flew by and just how many people, who truly are important to me, I never saw... not even one time.  It's in that moment as the 2013 wrap up happened in my mind, I made it a resolution to slow down and breathe!  Yes, yes... I've said it many times but this time it was different and I know that if I don't, I'm going to miss out on some of the greatest blessings of my life... spending time with those that I love.  This was a year that our family and some of our closest friends lost too many loved ones.  When I reflect on how I spent my time, did I let those that are no longer with us know how much I cared or was I too busy filling up my calendar trying to be superwoman in a world where I can't possibly do all that I setout to do?  Although much of what I spent time doing were good things, it doesn't replace what is most precious to me and that is spending time, quality time, with those important in my life.  I was reminded in those few quiet moments that I need to rearrange my priorities and get my act together as none of us are promised the next breath.  It's time for me to breathe, to be quiet... I'm seeing where I have been wrong. 

What a major undertaking this will be for me and my "Martha spirit".  Oh how I envy sometimes my friends with "Mary spirits".  But I know that my spirit is exactly as God designed it and I will continue to serve and to be the hands and feet of Christ to those who need me the most but only where God actually leads me and not necessarily every place I'm called by others.  The ministry that I've been blessed to lead has a full schedule planned for this year but already as I sat to create it, I was reminded to place more time in it for fun times, times to just enjoy being sisters. 

There is much to do, many hurting people, so many disasters that have occurred that have left others broken and in need.  We are to be helpers in this world to our fellow man, but we also need to  recharge so that we can continue and not run on empty.   We all have to find that balance, tune our ears towards heaven and breathe.  If you find me a little quiet throughout this year, don't worry... that's a good thing!  It just means I'm being still for a recharge so that I can continue to do the work God has called me to do. 

When is the last time you quieted the world around you and breathed?  Maybe you are just the opposite and need to step up and do more so that the "Marthas" around you can breathe for a moment.  What is it that you need to be still for and shown where you have been wrong?

Breathe

Under His Wings,
Heather