"The Lord appeared to us in the past, saying: "I have loved you with an everlasting love, I have drawn you with loving kindness."
It's amazing to me how sometimes God uses so many different ways to share a message with me that I didn't even know that I was in need of until He begins to minister to those soft places of my heart and peels back another layer of the past that blocks me from serving Him with my whole heart. Sometimes we tend to bury things so deep in the recesses of our heart that we even forget that the scars and pains are still there ready to resurface and be dealt with on God's timing in our life.
This weekend I heard time and time again about the Father's love. I thought I was pretty well versed in that and I truly know without a doubt that I have a Heavenly Daddy who loves with a love that I can only begin to understand and share with others. His word is a wonderful love letter to me and to you. Sometimes when I sit down to read, there are moments that I feel like I've crawled up into my Daddy's lap as He reads to me. There is such comfort that. I never knew what that felt like in my relationship with my earthly father but I've seen many wonderful men, wonderful father's, take the time to scoop their little one up on their knee or nuzzled closely reading a story and sharing a tale. I often have envied that type of relationship, although I was blessed to have a mother who tried her best to fulfill that role for me.
For me an earthly father was never to be. I've never had a relationship with him and that had always left a void in my life. I must confess that I am grateful that my father chose not to be a part of my life and bring with him all the demons that he still battles today. There are sometimes blessings in the absence of those things that we think we need. My story is not unlike many that I talk to today whose father was not part of their life, but unique just the same. My mom was a young mother, just barely 17 years old when she had me. She wasn't ready to be a mom, but she did all she knew to do to try and be what I needed her to be. But my father was already a new daddy married to another woman but still playing the field. Not too long after my birth, he again became a father to a third child and eventually a fourth. Four children, four mothers and not able to be a father to any of them.
This bothered me for many years, knowing that my father couldn't be a dad to me and that I had three other siblings that I knew he had a relationship with but was causing chaos and destruction in all of their lives. As a young girl I thought I was missing out, but what I've learned over time is that I was being protected and guarded by my Heavenly Father. From before I was formed in a young mother's womb, my Heavenly Daddy was already planning my future and putting a hedge of protection around me. Oh my life wasn't easy and the enemy would have loved to have seen me buckle under the hardships that I had to go through but my Daddy He was holding me on his lap reading the story that was to be my life and saying "I have loved you with an everlasting love".
Some of you reading this today have had broken relationships or no relationships at all with your earthly fathers. Some of you still hold onto the pains of the void left by a man that was suppose to be there for you, loving you and supporting you. We can't undo the past and we can't make someone fulfill a role they don't know how to fill. The good news is that we all have a Heavenly father who loves us, cheers for us,cries with us and has never forsaken us. We never have to question who we are or where we belong because we are children of the King of Kings and there is nothing that will ever come between our daddy and us.
Are you holding onto pains of the void left by your father? Are you still angry for all the ways you felt he let you down? Are you willing to reach out your hand today and take the hand of your Heavenly Daddy and say, "read me a story about how you love me, how you know every detail about me, how you have my name written on the palm of your hand and have every hair on my head numbered." With that kind of a Daddy... we never need feel abandoned again.
Blessings,
Heather
Monday, August 22, 2011
Sunday, August 7, 2011
Scars; Psalm 34:18
"The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit."
I've been reading a wonderful book called "Your Scars Are Beautiful To God" by Sharon Jaynes. One of my favorite quotes from it is, "Scars do not simply represent healing or the end of a struggle, but the beginning of a ministry!" I read that over and over again spending time on what that meant to me and how often I've seen that applied.
We all have a past, some of us may have a past marred by many scars left by physical incidents, emotional turmoil and too often relationship strife and abuse. Regardless of the way the event happened, they've all left a scar on our being in some form or fashion... what we choose to do with that scar is up to us. I can see a physical scar on my body left by a time I ran into a gate and gashed my knee open and I can also see the scars left behind on my body due to surgeries that ultimately led to a greater scar of infertility and disappointment. Although the surgeons were wonderful at creating just a fine line from where they had me opened several times, the internal scars called endometriosis caused even greater scars leaving me unable to have children I so desperately wanted. My emotional being already scarred by losing my only child to cancer many years before, seemed to reopen and the wound grow that much deeper leaving me lost in my own despair and withdrawing from life.
Many of us women believe our womanhood is wrapped solely in the ability to reproduce and create future generations. Not all women are called to do so and that's not always an easy thing to hear. When God told me no, I became very angry with him and stopped being the woman he designed me to be. I felt empty and alone and that there wasn't anyone who could possibly understand the hurt that resided inside me. Loss became too familiar of a friend. I lost my only born child at the age of 3 1/2 years of age, I had two failed Invitro procedures where I lost three embryos each time and finally going through the entire adoption process and having the social worker present us with two beautiful little boys, ages 5 and 7 and having the whole thing fall apart and having to let them go.
I watched for nearly two years as my son battled bravely his fight against cancer and was there holding him on my lap as he breathed his last natural breath. I never got to hold the little ones that were growing inside my womb but felt their leaving my body in a very real way. I never got to even meet the two little boys who's stories were shared with me and pictures provided and even so, I had begun to love them anyway. I wasn't sure I'd survive the pain of it all and wanted so badly to give up, my spirit was crushed beyond what I thought was repairable... the scars seemed to be all that were left of me. But Jesus came just as he always does. He saw me lying curled up in a fetal position wishing life would end and wrapped himself around me and said, I know your pain and I will take it away and teach you how to love my children and be a mother in a way you never imagined just trust me and follow me. I put one foot on the floor and stood up before an actual cross and said ok, here I am. I never regretted that moment and although sometimes the ache inside comes back I trust in his word, "The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit."
My spirit was crushed and my heart broken but God continues to turn my scars into ministry by being the vessel of his unfailing love. You see our God, he lost a child too once. He had to watch as his only son hung dying on a cross for a people so undeserving, he sacrificed his son to cover our scars and allow us to be ministers to one another. God himself had to turn away as his son breathed his last breath and bore our sins that day. In that moment, a separation like this world had never known occurred and a great ministry was born out of the scars from that day. It was Jesus' scars that convinced the disciples that it was he standing before them.
Scars are our stories, reminders of who we were, where we've been and how we not only survived but how God turned them into something beautiful. The stories are to be told, the scars shared and a ministry birthed. What scars do you boldly show others in your ministry? What scar is God asking you to share and expose so that others can find healing? When are you going to allow your scars to turn to ministry?
Please listen to the words of this song by Jason Gray: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AapTMsc8A2Q&NR=1
Blessings,
Heather
I've been reading a wonderful book called "Your Scars Are Beautiful To God" by Sharon Jaynes. One of my favorite quotes from it is, "Scars do not simply represent healing or the end of a struggle, but the beginning of a ministry!" I read that over and over again spending time on what that meant to me and how often I've seen that applied.
We all have a past, some of us may have a past marred by many scars left by physical incidents, emotional turmoil and too often relationship strife and abuse. Regardless of the way the event happened, they've all left a scar on our being in some form or fashion... what we choose to do with that scar is up to us. I can see a physical scar on my body left by a time I ran into a gate and gashed my knee open and I can also see the scars left behind on my body due to surgeries that ultimately led to a greater scar of infertility and disappointment. Although the surgeons were wonderful at creating just a fine line from where they had me opened several times, the internal scars called endometriosis caused even greater scars leaving me unable to have children I so desperately wanted. My emotional being already scarred by losing my only child to cancer many years before, seemed to reopen and the wound grow that much deeper leaving me lost in my own despair and withdrawing from life.
Many of us women believe our womanhood is wrapped solely in the ability to reproduce and create future generations. Not all women are called to do so and that's not always an easy thing to hear. When God told me no, I became very angry with him and stopped being the woman he designed me to be. I felt empty and alone and that there wasn't anyone who could possibly understand the hurt that resided inside me. Loss became too familiar of a friend. I lost my only born child at the age of 3 1/2 years of age, I had two failed Invitro procedures where I lost three embryos each time and finally going through the entire adoption process and having the social worker present us with two beautiful little boys, ages 5 and 7 and having the whole thing fall apart and having to let them go.
I watched for nearly two years as my son battled bravely his fight against cancer and was there holding him on my lap as he breathed his last natural breath. I never got to hold the little ones that were growing inside my womb but felt their leaving my body in a very real way. I never got to even meet the two little boys who's stories were shared with me and pictures provided and even so, I had begun to love them anyway. I wasn't sure I'd survive the pain of it all and wanted so badly to give up, my spirit was crushed beyond what I thought was repairable... the scars seemed to be all that were left of me. But Jesus came just as he always does. He saw me lying curled up in a fetal position wishing life would end and wrapped himself around me and said, I know your pain and I will take it away and teach you how to love my children and be a mother in a way you never imagined just trust me and follow me. I put one foot on the floor and stood up before an actual cross and said ok, here I am. I never regretted that moment and although sometimes the ache inside comes back I trust in his word, "The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit."
My spirit was crushed and my heart broken but God continues to turn my scars into ministry by being the vessel of his unfailing love. You see our God, he lost a child too once. He had to watch as his only son hung dying on a cross for a people so undeserving, he sacrificed his son to cover our scars and allow us to be ministers to one another. God himself had to turn away as his son breathed his last breath and bore our sins that day. In that moment, a separation like this world had never known occurred and a great ministry was born out of the scars from that day. It was Jesus' scars that convinced the disciples that it was he standing before them.
Scars are our stories, reminders of who we were, where we've been and how we not only survived but how God turned them into something beautiful. The stories are to be told, the scars shared and a ministry birthed. What scars do you boldly show others in your ministry? What scar is God asking you to share and expose so that others can find healing? When are you going to allow your scars to turn to ministry?
Please listen to the words of this song by Jason Gray: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AapTMsc8A2Q&NR=1
Blessings,
Heather
Saturday, July 23, 2011
Baggage; Psalm 139:13-14
"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well."
In my last blog I wrote on being called. In the weeks that have passed since writing that blog it's been quite apparent that God is continuing to remind me that we are all given gifts and talents to serve a purpose and to fulfill his plan. Working within our giftings from our father serves the needs of those around us and for ourselves. Until I began writing this blog I had no idea why God called me to write until he revealed to me, I have a gift of encouragement. That's what this blog has always been about, encouragement of others in their faith journey as well as often times an encouragement to me to keep going and trust in the Lord in all things.
Too often I've allowed the baggage of life to rob me of serving in the capacity I've been called. I can find a million excuses as to why I can't do something and sometimes find it hard to find one single reason to do it. The only reason I need to do it is because Abba Father asked me to. It's not out of total disobedience that I resist the call, but many times a feeling of inadequacy... that I simply can not do what he's asked. Sometimes it's because I feel I'm not smart enough, sometimes a feeling of I'm not good enough and sometimes a feeling of no one could possibly want or need what I have to offer. Do you ever feel that way? That God picked the wrong person? How could he possibly choose me for this task or bless me with this gift that could serve him in such a way?
There's where that word baggage comes into play. We drag this big old bag of "stuff" with us wherever we go of things from our yesterdays. Perhaps it was a parent that said, you can't do that. Maybe it was a teacher that said, you just aren't very bright. Maybe it was a classmate, a peer, or a "friend" who reminds you, "remember how awful you use to be, how awful you were just a few moments ago?" We keep lugging that baggage around allowing it to stop us from being the called women and men of God that we are. The enemy loves our baggage. He uses it against us every moment he can, it's his greatest tool to use against us because it's something we seem to want to hold on to tighter than we do our relationship with Christ. You may be shaking your head right now and saying, "no I don't". If that's the case, then what's stopping you from being all God has called you to be? What is stopping you from serving with your whole heart? What is preventing you from giving your all to Christ? Let it go... we all must let it go to walk in the way God has called us to walk. I am so guilty of picking up my baggage and throwing it into the mix of the day. The Holy Spirit will reveal in my spirit that I'm doing it and remind me, "Heather do you know who you are and even greater do you know who you belong to? Your Father is the King of Kings!" There is nothing that we can't do through Christ, nothing. If he has called you, then he will equip you. It's time to toss the baggage of the past into that great sea of forgetfulness and take your place in the body of Christ.
What baggage are you holding onto that is stopping you from fulfilling your role and using the gifts and talents that God has given you? What baggage do you need to let go of once and for all so that you can be a great lamp standing on a hill? You've been called, you are fearfully and wonderfully made... when will you choose to hold onto the promises of God tighter than the baggage of the yesterdays? Is today the day?
Blessings,
Heather
In my last blog I wrote on being called. In the weeks that have passed since writing that blog it's been quite apparent that God is continuing to remind me that we are all given gifts and talents to serve a purpose and to fulfill his plan. Working within our giftings from our father serves the needs of those around us and for ourselves. Until I began writing this blog I had no idea why God called me to write until he revealed to me, I have a gift of encouragement. That's what this blog has always been about, encouragement of others in their faith journey as well as often times an encouragement to me to keep going and trust in the Lord in all things.
Too often I've allowed the baggage of life to rob me of serving in the capacity I've been called. I can find a million excuses as to why I can't do something and sometimes find it hard to find one single reason to do it. The only reason I need to do it is because Abba Father asked me to. It's not out of total disobedience that I resist the call, but many times a feeling of inadequacy... that I simply can not do what he's asked. Sometimes it's because I feel I'm not smart enough, sometimes a feeling of I'm not good enough and sometimes a feeling of no one could possibly want or need what I have to offer. Do you ever feel that way? That God picked the wrong person? How could he possibly choose me for this task or bless me with this gift that could serve him in such a way?
There's where that word baggage comes into play. We drag this big old bag of "stuff" with us wherever we go of things from our yesterdays. Perhaps it was a parent that said, you can't do that. Maybe it was a teacher that said, you just aren't very bright. Maybe it was a classmate, a peer, or a "friend" who reminds you, "remember how awful you use to be, how awful you were just a few moments ago?" We keep lugging that baggage around allowing it to stop us from being the called women and men of God that we are. The enemy loves our baggage. He uses it against us every moment he can, it's his greatest tool to use against us because it's something we seem to want to hold on to tighter than we do our relationship with Christ. You may be shaking your head right now and saying, "no I don't". If that's the case, then what's stopping you from being all God has called you to be? What is stopping you from serving with your whole heart? What is preventing you from giving your all to Christ? Let it go... we all must let it go to walk in the way God has called us to walk. I am so guilty of picking up my baggage and throwing it into the mix of the day. The Holy Spirit will reveal in my spirit that I'm doing it and remind me, "Heather do you know who you are and even greater do you know who you belong to? Your Father is the King of Kings!" There is nothing that we can't do through Christ, nothing. If he has called you, then he will equip you. It's time to toss the baggage of the past into that great sea of forgetfulness and take your place in the body of Christ.
What baggage are you holding onto that is stopping you from fulfilling your role and using the gifts and talents that God has given you? What baggage do you need to let go of once and for all so that you can be a great lamp standing on a hill? You've been called, you are fearfully and wonderfully made... when will you choose to hold onto the promises of God tighter than the baggage of the yesterdays? Is today the day?
Blessings,
Heather
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
Called; Ephesians 4:11-13 & Jeremiah 33:3
Ephesians 4:11-13 "And he himself gave some to be apostles, some prophets, some evangelists, and some pastors and teachers, for the equipping of the saints for the work of ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ, till we all come to the unity of the faith and the knowledge of the Son of God, to a perfect man, to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ."
Jeremiah 33:3 " Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know."
My husband is currently working on a talk of Christian Action and as I've listen to him begin to write the words God is laying on his heart I've pondered the very topic myself, what does it mean to be in Christian action? Along my journey I've been able to serve in a variety of ways, most of which I've enjoyed and have been able to be blessed and watch others be blessed because of the obedience from not only myself but by the obedience of themselves as well. I've also felt the struggle in times when I'm simply fulfilling a need and not the direction of the Father. It has been one of my greatest struggles to know when to serve and when to be patient and allow God to appoint and anoint the right person for the job and the right person is not always me. Ouch!
The last several months I have had quite a restlessness and if you read my last blog I attributed that to a quieting of the Holy Spirit within me. Along with this quiet comes a time of listening and waiting on the Lord to direct my steps to the next phase of my walk with Christ. Chris and I spent some time recently in a public area just sitting and watching people as they passed by and listening to the music being played by a local band. I found myself wondering about the lives that crossed my path that day. Chris and I began talking about how if you quiet yourself and really listen to the "beat of the drum" you can hear the music of life being played out for you. If you begin to quiet yourself, you will hear the call that God has placed on your life for a particular moment and time. Sometimes the music at first doesn't appear all that beautiful but as you begin to truly listen with the desire within you crying out to the great songwriter you begin to hear an incredible melody.
God has called and equipped each of us in different and wonderful ways. Some are called to lead and some are called to serve along side of leaders. Each one of you reading this has a gift that God has given you to be a part of the body that only you can be for the unification of the body of Christ working together in a world that is in need of a Savior. I can't say that I'm always willing to do whatever God leads me to do at first, too often I fight him and resist the new task because it means I have to grow and that sometimes means moving out of my comfort zone surrounded by my wonderful support system and entering into a brand new one.
In the first passages from Ephesians that I draw from in sharing this with you, it's clear that God has called us all for a purpose, for a specific mission in life. We aren't all called to be teachers or preachers, some are called in different form of ministry but all are equally important in being part of one body of believers. We are directed in Jeremiah to call to our father and he will answer us.
What is God calling you to do today? Can you hear him? Are you listening? Are you patiently waiting for a response? Are you ready to completely surrender and allow the work that he has begun in you to take hold and allow you to be the servant he's called you to be? Perhaps you have been called to help others hear the melody for their own life as the music is played so that they can join in chorus with the rest of the body to give praise to the Father.
Blessings,
Heather
Jeremiah 33:3 " Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know."
My husband is currently working on a talk of Christian Action and as I've listen to him begin to write the words God is laying on his heart I've pondered the very topic myself, what does it mean to be in Christian action? Along my journey I've been able to serve in a variety of ways, most of which I've enjoyed and have been able to be blessed and watch others be blessed because of the obedience from not only myself but by the obedience of themselves as well. I've also felt the struggle in times when I'm simply fulfilling a need and not the direction of the Father. It has been one of my greatest struggles to know when to serve and when to be patient and allow God to appoint and anoint the right person for the job and the right person is not always me. Ouch!
The last several months I have had quite a restlessness and if you read my last blog I attributed that to a quieting of the Holy Spirit within me. Along with this quiet comes a time of listening and waiting on the Lord to direct my steps to the next phase of my walk with Christ. Chris and I spent some time recently in a public area just sitting and watching people as they passed by and listening to the music being played by a local band. I found myself wondering about the lives that crossed my path that day. Chris and I began talking about how if you quiet yourself and really listen to the "beat of the drum" you can hear the music of life being played out for you. If you begin to quiet yourself, you will hear the call that God has placed on your life for a particular moment and time. Sometimes the music at first doesn't appear all that beautiful but as you begin to truly listen with the desire within you crying out to the great songwriter you begin to hear an incredible melody.
God has called and equipped each of us in different and wonderful ways. Some are called to lead and some are called to serve along side of leaders. Each one of you reading this has a gift that God has given you to be a part of the body that only you can be for the unification of the body of Christ working together in a world that is in need of a Savior. I can't say that I'm always willing to do whatever God leads me to do at first, too often I fight him and resist the new task because it means I have to grow and that sometimes means moving out of my comfort zone surrounded by my wonderful support system and entering into a brand new one.
In the first passages from Ephesians that I draw from in sharing this with you, it's clear that God has called us all for a purpose, for a specific mission in life. We aren't all called to be teachers or preachers, some are called in different form of ministry but all are equally important in being part of one body of believers. We are directed in Jeremiah to call to our father and he will answer us.
What is God calling you to do today? Can you hear him? Are you listening? Are you patiently waiting for a response? Are you ready to completely surrender and allow the work that he has begun in you to take hold and allow you to be the servant he's called you to be? Perhaps you have been called to help others hear the melody for their own life as the music is played so that they can join in chorus with the rest of the body to give praise to the Father.
Blessings,
Heather
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Quietness; Psalm 131:2
"I have stilled and quieted my soul; like a weaned child with its mother; like a weaned child is my soul within me."
You've seen me post before of the times of blooming, harvest and pruning. Perhaps you've even heard me talk of the dry seasons, the dormant season of winter or as I'm understanding more clearly...the season of quietness. It's probably my toughest of the spiritual seasons. I love the bright blooming season with all it's beauty and new life. I love the harvesting season, reaping the fruits of service in Christ. I can even handle pruning from time to time knowing that my correction on my direction needs to occur and although painful there is somehow a sense of renewal still in the pruning. But the dormant season, the season of quietness within my soul...that one is hard for someone who just wants to keep moving forward in service.
I relate all of this to my physical love of gardens and I have to admit that the dormant season allows for the fresh blooms to be bigger, brighter and more colorful than the season before. I can't imagine what a plant would think, if a plant could think, blanketed in the soft white snow all around knowing that it was frozen in place and prevented from growing or even being seen for a season. Instead it was being "quieted" and fed instead of producing for a season.
The last couple of months I know I definitely have been in a dormant season of my life. Not due to my prayer life changing or in reading his word but a purposeful quietness that the father has chosen for me. It's been hard and I've been wrestling with him almost demanding that he share with me what my next steps are to be. Not too long ago I had an anointed woman of God share with me that she saw me wrestling with something and that she'd be praying that God would give me answer and direction. I thought to myself, ok, he's going to show me now for certain where he has me going and what he wants me to do but instead he continues to teach me that he is God and that my control issues are not. I left Bible study that night and began praying that God just reveal to me what I needed to know to have the restlessness within my soul quieted. He gave me a picture of a grand man without a face and a little girl standing before him with her feet on top of his dancing a beautiful dance. The little girl at first was so uncomfortable but as the music continued and she began to listen to the gentle music she looked up to see the man and looking back at her was her father, eyes brilliant, smile wide and with the softest voice he said, "daughter, let me lead this dance. You need to do nothing but hold my hand, look into my eyes and know that I have you." At that moment, I began smiling in my car. I knew that was my heavenly daddy telling me, Heather... let go and fully trust me.
Brokenness can sometimes be my companion and some scars run pretty deep. I find that sometimes I allow that brokenness to rule and take over in my life and my trust and faith grows weak. But as I begin to pray for God to release me from the pains of the past to allow me to heal, he reminds me that there are blessings in my brokenness as well. Recently I've begun working on a song for church that a special little girl in the congregation loves and I plan to sing it very soon. The song talks directly to my heart, especially lately as sometimes I find I get angry that I don't feel God near or speaking to my soul. He is quieting my soul, preparing the grounds for a fertile growing season again in his time.
Please quiet your mind and your soul for a few moments as you too listen to the song I am learning not just in the sense that most understand but I'm learning to truly listen to it in the quiet deep places of my heart and soul. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SGniRk_GcLs
Where are you today? Are you blooming, harvesting? Perhaps you are being pruned or maybe you are like me and are being asked to be dormant and quiet for a season to begin the next leg of the journey? Wherever you are, God has a plan and we simply need to trust that even in the quiet... he is ever near.
Blessings,
Heather
You've seen me post before of the times of blooming, harvest and pruning. Perhaps you've even heard me talk of the dry seasons, the dormant season of winter or as I'm understanding more clearly...the season of quietness. It's probably my toughest of the spiritual seasons. I love the bright blooming season with all it's beauty and new life. I love the harvesting season, reaping the fruits of service in Christ. I can even handle pruning from time to time knowing that my correction on my direction needs to occur and although painful there is somehow a sense of renewal still in the pruning. But the dormant season, the season of quietness within my soul...that one is hard for someone who just wants to keep moving forward in service.
I relate all of this to my physical love of gardens and I have to admit that the dormant season allows for the fresh blooms to be bigger, brighter and more colorful than the season before. I can't imagine what a plant would think, if a plant could think, blanketed in the soft white snow all around knowing that it was frozen in place and prevented from growing or even being seen for a season. Instead it was being "quieted" and fed instead of producing for a season.
The last couple of months I know I definitely have been in a dormant season of my life. Not due to my prayer life changing or in reading his word but a purposeful quietness that the father has chosen for me. It's been hard and I've been wrestling with him almost demanding that he share with me what my next steps are to be. Not too long ago I had an anointed woman of God share with me that she saw me wrestling with something and that she'd be praying that God would give me answer and direction. I thought to myself, ok, he's going to show me now for certain where he has me going and what he wants me to do but instead he continues to teach me that he is God and that my control issues are not. I left Bible study that night and began praying that God just reveal to me what I needed to know to have the restlessness within my soul quieted. He gave me a picture of a grand man without a face and a little girl standing before him with her feet on top of his dancing a beautiful dance. The little girl at first was so uncomfortable but as the music continued and she began to listen to the gentle music she looked up to see the man and looking back at her was her father, eyes brilliant, smile wide and with the softest voice he said, "daughter, let me lead this dance. You need to do nothing but hold my hand, look into my eyes and know that I have you." At that moment, I began smiling in my car. I knew that was my heavenly daddy telling me, Heather... let go and fully trust me.
Brokenness can sometimes be my companion and some scars run pretty deep. I find that sometimes I allow that brokenness to rule and take over in my life and my trust and faith grows weak. But as I begin to pray for God to release me from the pains of the past to allow me to heal, he reminds me that there are blessings in my brokenness as well. Recently I've begun working on a song for church that a special little girl in the congregation loves and I plan to sing it very soon. The song talks directly to my heart, especially lately as sometimes I find I get angry that I don't feel God near or speaking to my soul. He is quieting my soul, preparing the grounds for a fertile growing season again in his time.
Please quiet your mind and your soul for a few moments as you too listen to the song I am learning not just in the sense that most understand but I'm learning to truly listen to it in the quiet deep places of my heart and soul. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SGniRk_GcLs
Where are you today? Are you blooming, harvesting? Perhaps you are being pruned or maybe you are like me and are being asked to be dormant and quiet for a season to begin the next leg of the journey? Wherever you are, God has a plan and we simply need to trust that even in the quiet... he is ever near.
Blessings,
Heather
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Strength; Psalm 46:1
"God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble."
So hopefully none of you fell into the trap of selling all your worldly possessions and quitting your jobs last week in lieu of the rapture taking place this past Saturday. Did you know the scripture tells us that we will not know the day or the hour upon which Christ will return? It's actually stated several times, but Matthew 25:13 is pretty simple and straight forward to those who claim to know differently... “Therefore keep watch, because you do not know the day or the hour." Can't be anymore clearer than that can it? I have troubles sometimes understanding what the word is telling me but this I know for certain, I simply am to be on watch and ready for his return.
The past few weeks have been pretty hard on many hit by the storms that have been raging in our country. Tornadoes seem to be everywhere and causing such devastation. Many believe this is because its the end of the world, who knows it could be but I really can't know and neither can you. That's why I find the scripture in today's post so relevant even more so than I do the scriptures of his coming. God reminds us that HE is our refuge and strength.... EVER-PRESENT help in trouble. I sit here and I think about that promise and realize that no storm that comes my way, that comes your way, is bigger than that promise. We serve a faithful God and he never breaks a promise.
Some of you may have been impacted by the storms that have destroyed homes, families, lives, towns and created history. Some of you may have faced storms in a different way the past few weeks, maybe your storms have been with someone or in some situation that you feel is just spinning out of control and wrecking your life. But no matter the type of storm, God is still EVER-PRESENT in our time of trouble and he gives us strength to face whatever giant is trying to tear us down.
I'm sure many of you have read the story of David and Goliath over and over again as children and as adults, but I read it again this weekend. David created so many storms in people's lives but yet God remained faithful to him and God remained his strength. Can you imagine standing before Goliath, a mighty assassin with just a smooth stone and slingshot and knowing, having no fear, no doubt nor reservation because you knew your God was bigger and mightier than the one that stood before you? The story became more real to me than it ever has, David had faith that brought down that giant...it wasn't just the stone or the slingshot... it was his faith and God reaching down to quiet the storm standing in front of him. Our strength comes from the Lord, our help comes from the Lord and our hope comes from the Lord.
Some days when we are in the midst of these life storms its hard to find the strength that we know is within us because of the one who placed it there...but hold fast dear friends, he is faithful to his word and to us. He is our rock and fortress, the strength of all that we are. Don't allow the storms to break you down, sure they may take away things you love or maybe they will blow hard and knock you down or off track but get back up standing firmly in His strength and not that of your own. Dig deep into his word and not that of false prophets who claim to know what scripture says is impossible to know. Remember your faith is strength, it comes from the father the EVER-PRESENT help in time of troubles.
What storms are you facing today? Are you standing before the giants with knees shaking or are you standing boldly knowing your strength is greater, far greater, than anything that could possibly come against you? Please stand in faith with me praying for those that have been hit by the storms recently, pray for strength of mind, body and soul as they attempt to pick up the pieces of their lives and rebuild.
Blessings,
Heather
So hopefully none of you fell into the trap of selling all your worldly possessions and quitting your jobs last week in lieu of the rapture taking place this past Saturday. Did you know the scripture tells us that we will not know the day or the hour upon which Christ will return? It's actually stated several times, but Matthew 25:13 is pretty simple and straight forward to those who claim to know differently... “Therefore keep watch, because you do not know the day or the hour." Can't be anymore clearer than that can it? I have troubles sometimes understanding what the word is telling me but this I know for certain, I simply am to be on watch and ready for his return.
The past few weeks have been pretty hard on many hit by the storms that have been raging in our country. Tornadoes seem to be everywhere and causing such devastation. Many believe this is because its the end of the world, who knows it could be but I really can't know and neither can you. That's why I find the scripture in today's post so relevant even more so than I do the scriptures of his coming. God reminds us that HE is our refuge and strength.... EVER-PRESENT help in trouble. I sit here and I think about that promise and realize that no storm that comes my way, that comes your way, is bigger than that promise. We serve a faithful God and he never breaks a promise.
Some of you may have been impacted by the storms that have destroyed homes, families, lives, towns and created history. Some of you may have faced storms in a different way the past few weeks, maybe your storms have been with someone or in some situation that you feel is just spinning out of control and wrecking your life. But no matter the type of storm, God is still EVER-PRESENT in our time of trouble and he gives us strength to face whatever giant is trying to tear us down.
I'm sure many of you have read the story of David and Goliath over and over again as children and as adults, but I read it again this weekend. David created so many storms in people's lives but yet God remained faithful to him and God remained his strength. Can you imagine standing before Goliath, a mighty assassin with just a smooth stone and slingshot and knowing, having no fear, no doubt nor reservation because you knew your God was bigger and mightier than the one that stood before you? The story became more real to me than it ever has, David had faith that brought down that giant...it wasn't just the stone or the slingshot... it was his faith and God reaching down to quiet the storm standing in front of him. Our strength comes from the Lord, our help comes from the Lord and our hope comes from the Lord.
Some days when we are in the midst of these life storms its hard to find the strength that we know is within us because of the one who placed it there...but hold fast dear friends, he is faithful to his word and to us. He is our rock and fortress, the strength of all that we are. Don't allow the storms to break you down, sure they may take away things you love or maybe they will blow hard and knock you down or off track but get back up standing firmly in His strength and not that of your own. Dig deep into his word and not that of false prophets who claim to know what scripture says is impossible to know. Remember your faith is strength, it comes from the father the EVER-PRESENT help in time of troubles.
What storms are you facing today? Are you standing before the giants with knees shaking or are you standing boldly knowing your strength is greater, far greater, than anything that could possibly come against you? Please stand in faith with me praying for those that have been hit by the storms recently, pray for strength of mind, body and soul as they attempt to pick up the pieces of their lives and rebuild.
Blessings,
Heather
Monday, May 9, 2011
Growth; 2 Peter 1:5-6
"Make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness."
Today I played hooky from work so that I could be in my flower beds prepping them for another season of beauty. Last year the drought in the area took its toll on them and by the end of the growing season they looked like they had come through a drought. Have any of you ever felt like you've come through a drought spiritually? Your very soul feels parched and void of the holy living waters that dwell deep within your soul. It's a difficult time isn't it, to feel parched and thirsty for the holy spirit to rain down on you? You look in your spiritual mirrors and long to see the beautiful rose of sharon standing before you, but instead you see something that looks more like a thistle or a weed ready to be plucked out of the garden and discarded.
The good news is there is spring rain. We've all been complaining about the over abundance of rain that we've been receiving here at home but honestly without the rain we would not have the gorgeous green grass on our lawns with the dead spots caused by the drought from last year revitalized. Almost all those spots have somehow been restored. That's how it is with our spiritual dryness too. We take our little faith seed that we know is within us and we begin to fertilize it with goodness by reading the word and gaining the knowledge we need to grow, to learn self-control, perseverance and godliness...holiness.
In everything there are seasons of life. The plants and trees in our gardens, yards and parks that surround us experience a dormant time, a dying/pruning season and what we enjoy the most...the new life that burst forth. I don't know about you, but my favorite time of year is watching the buds form on the trees, seeing the flowers begin to bloom, watching the little bees go from flower to flower spreading the pollen helping life to continue. It's a beautiful thing to see nature at work, to know that we have a creator who orchestrated the whole thing. It's an even greater thing to see growth in one another, to watch a brother or a sister come through their drought and to begin to bloom again. Or maybe it's us, maybe we were the ones that God quieted for a moment, for a season to bring us to full bloom again in our spirit.
I can't say that I enjoy the pruning or the weeding in my gardens nor can I say that I enjoy the pruning or the weeding in the gardens of my soul but it is necessary. This weekend was a weekend of great growth for me personally. I was able to take that small seed of faith along with a lot of watering cans called prayer warriors to grow this past Sunday. I was able to see small buds appear on a branch of my tree that has long been dormant. I think I'll continue to water it and see what God wants to do from there.
What season are you in today? Are you growing in the fruit of the spirit or are you in a drought that is in desperate need of some healing rains? Call on your watering cans, they are waiting to pray with you...to be the stakes in life to support you until you are strong enough to stand mightily on your own basking in the sOnshine.
Blessings,
Heather
Today I played hooky from work so that I could be in my flower beds prepping them for another season of beauty. Last year the drought in the area took its toll on them and by the end of the growing season they looked like they had come through a drought. Have any of you ever felt like you've come through a drought spiritually? Your very soul feels parched and void of the holy living waters that dwell deep within your soul. It's a difficult time isn't it, to feel parched and thirsty for the holy spirit to rain down on you? You look in your spiritual mirrors and long to see the beautiful rose of sharon standing before you, but instead you see something that looks more like a thistle or a weed ready to be plucked out of the garden and discarded.
The good news is there is spring rain. We've all been complaining about the over abundance of rain that we've been receiving here at home but honestly without the rain we would not have the gorgeous green grass on our lawns with the dead spots caused by the drought from last year revitalized. Almost all those spots have somehow been restored. That's how it is with our spiritual dryness too. We take our little faith seed that we know is within us and we begin to fertilize it with goodness by reading the word and gaining the knowledge we need to grow, to learn self-control, perseverance and godliness...holiness.
In everything there are seasons of life. The plants and trees in our gardens, yards and parks that surround us experience a dormant time, a dying/pruning season and what we enjoy the most...the new life that burst forth. I don't know about you, but my favorite time of year is watching the buds form on the trees, seeing the flowers begin to bloom, watching the little bees go from flower to flower spreading the pollen helping life to continue. It's a beautiful thing to see nature at work, to know that we have a creator who orchestrated the whole thing. It's an even greater thing to see growth in one another, to watch a brother or a sister come through their drought and to begin to bloom again. Or maybe it's us, maybe we were the ones that God quieted for a moment, for a season to bring us to full bloom again in our spirit.
I can't say that I enjoy the pruning or the weeding in my gardens nor can I say that I enjoy the pruning or the weeding in the gardens of my soul but it is necessary. This weekend was a weekend of great growth for me personally. I was able to take that small seed of faith along with a lot of watering cans called prayer warriors to grow this past Sunday. I was able to see small buds appear on a branch of my tree that has long been dormant. I think I'll continue to water it and see what God wants to do from there.
What season are you in today? Are you growing in the fruit of the spirit or are you in a drought that is in desperate need of some healing rains? Call on your watering cans, they are waiting to pray with you...to be the stakes in life to support you until you are strong enough to stand mightily on your own basking in the sOnshine.
Blessings,
Heather
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