" I say this because I know what I am planning for you,” says the Lord. “I have good plans for you, not plans to hurt you. I will give you hope and a good future." (NCV)
This is my life verse. When life gets messy, and we all know it does, I turn to this scripture and know and trust that my God, my Creator, has a plan for my life and not just any plan but a GOOD plan with a GOOD future. I happen to be the one who gets in the way and messes it all up because I try to make things happen my way and according to my plans. Why do I do this... I am not sure, but if you figure out why you do it, will you please write and share with me?
There have been a lot of things on my mind lately as I take on new challenges and face new obstacles. Some of the plans that have been discussed about my future I will admit have scared me. I feel the old Heather, from many years ago, who would shrink back out of fear that I wasn't good enough or strong enough or smart enough was trying to creep back in and claim my trust and faith in God who wrote in his very word... He has a plan and a future for me, not to harm me but to give me HOPE. How or why would I have any doubt when I know He has me and has all of my tomorrows worked out? He knows what he is planning for me and its all good... even the messy parts.
This week as I was driving home from work I had one of those messages. You know, one of those that you almost stop your car (or wreck it) because you feel like you have someone in the car with you and you freak out because there shouldn't be anyone in the car with you? Ok... some of you are getting this right now but some of you are thinking that I am totally crazy. All would be correct. :) Anyway... I just felt God speak to my heart with one simple message. HE PLACES ME IN POSITION TO BE HIS HANDS, HIS FEET AND TO BE HIS MOUTHPIECE. It is not me who places me in position of authority or leadership, but it is the Great I AM who puts me in place because he has a plan and a purpose over my life.
Many years ago on a retreat, a dear friend of mine who was my partner going over a series of questions late that night, stated that there are some people God calls to lead and some he calls to be behind the scenes and support those leaders. She told me then God didn't call me into a supporting role but to lead. I shook my head and she laughed at me. I started to get mad at her but instead I had to accept this was my fate. Susan... I Love You, Sis. I probably never told you that you were right because... well because I didn't want you to be right. I never thought that I would lead, I was happy to play the support role but it rarely works out that way. You see, God has other plans and he continues to grow and stretch me to limits I didn't know I could reach.
Today while sitting in church, my Pastor (little did he know) shared the very words God had shared with me this week in quieting my fears and reminding me that he has purposed my life, not just in the big moments but in the every day moments too... I simply need to get out of my own way and let him fulfill those purposes within my life. He doesn't need my help in making his plans come to realization... He just needs me to say, "Yes". It's so much easier when I do.
On any given day, I will tell you that I am a mess. Perhaps I would even share that I was a hot mess (you know at my age, hot can break out in a "flash" of a moment). I make tons of mistakes! I hurt people, I yell at people on the highway because they don't drive as perfect as me (stop laughing, you know you do it too), I bend the rules to suit my own plans and I just don't handle situations as well as I should. I will be the first to admit, I am an imperfect earthen vessel, my Emmaus peeps will truly understand that statement. I am full of mistakes and thankfully God sees them all and he still loves me and uses them to continue to press onward in the purpose and plans he has for me inspite of all the detours I throw out there. I often hear people call Christians hypocrites because they stumble or mess up. It saddens me when I hear other Christians call one another this... because they know better! Being a Christian means I accept that I am flawed and I will mess up... but it also means, I have a forgiving God who continues to work out his plan and purpose in my life no matter how much of a hot mess I am. He sent his son to die on a cross because he has been to each and every one of my tomorrows and has seen me stumble and fall and in each one of those moments, he picks me up, brushes me off and wraps his arms around me and says even after that... I still love you and I still have a GOOD plan and a Good future for your life.
Do you feel like sometimes God just doesn't care or has left you on your own to fulfill your own purpose, your own destiny? Do you recognize that God is GOD and no matter what you do, how horribly you mess up, that he is going to still provide you with a hope and a good future? God has seen every one of your tomorrows and he has purposed for you a life that may not have been what you would have chosen and it may be hard more times than you care for it to be... but He has a purpose for you that only you can fulfill. Trust Him and step out of your own way so He can show you all that he has planned for you.
Under His Wings,
Heather
