"Encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing."
There have been times that I wasn't sure how I was going to get through a difficult situation. Most of my friends would tell me to pray about the difficulty and that they would pray with me and for me as well. Sometimes those friends would simply give me an answer there on the spot with it often not being the answer that I wanted to hear. Have you ever heard advice you'd rather not hear or worse yet, hear your own words uttered back to you from past conversations? It stings a little doesn't it? But each of those responses were necessary and each a form of encouragement to lift me up out of the situation and into the direction I needed to travel however hard the journey would be. Those same friends would not just leave me alone to fight the battle, but they stood in the gap and prayed for me even on days when I couldn't pray for myself. Those are my encouragers and my dearest friends. They don't always tell me what I want to hear but they tell me what I need to hear to move on. I have been resistant at times to listen to what one of them would share with me, sometimes even hurt by what was said because what I wanted to hear at the moment was the "perfect" easy fix instead of a word from God on how to grow through the hard times. Ouch.
There are other times that the shoe is on the other foot so to speak as well. I've been the one to listen to a friend and what I mean by listen is that I really sit there, ears open and mouth shut hearing what my brother/sister in Christ is going through. Some days I have no answers but am always ready to pray with them and for them to be the one standing in the gap for them. Other days I'm the one that gives the words that sting a little. I can always tell when a friend is secretly saying inside, "Heather, that is not what I wanted you to say." To be honest if I were going through their situation and was having to hear the words coming out of my heart (notice I didn't say mouth) I would be saying the same thing.
The difference between lifting a friend up and defeating their spirit is the communication that is shared between the two of you or perhaps even a small group. When the words spoken are coming from the heart and not simply the tongue they are coming from the Holy Spirit within the person which will breathe new life over that person and will lift them up through their deepest darkest places and begin them on a journey of restoration. Our journeys are not always easy, we could probably agree that most times they are a bit of a struggle but God gives us one another to encourage, to lift up and to be a friend who will stand in the gap when we are finding it difficult to cross through it ourselves.
A true friend may not give you all the answers that you seek, they may not have them. Maybe the answers they do have for you aren't the ones you are ready to hear because of the pain or indecision in your heart. But a true friend, the ones who desire to lift you up will be there to hold onto you, sometimes physically, but all the time prayerfully to see you through to the otherside of your battle. They are there to cheer you on, to cry out to the Father and to watch and perhaps learn as you grow.
I've heard time and time again that to have a friend you need to be a friend. hmmm, I don't know if I agree with that old saying. Sometimes I think we need to be a friend even when the other isn't much of a friend because maybe that is their battle and you need to stand in the gap and be that friend that helps them understand what a friend is. I don't say that for anyone to be a whipping post or to be burdened down by someone who can't seem to learn from past mistakes but we all had to learn what a friend was somehow, someway, right?
I'm thankful that God knew we'd need relationships/friendships to lift one another up. He knew that sometimes we'd need someone to come to the right and left of us and help us along our journey and that sometimes we'd be that one to the right or left of another. He gave us one another. Love thy neighbor is what his word says. The paths we walk are not always clear of hardships but it's so much easier to walk it with someone than to try it alone. God is always there for us and I'm sure someone would argue that he is all that anyone needs. Perhaps there is some truth to that, but God created us one for another in human flesh to encourage and cheer each other on.
Who today needs lifted up? Who do you turn to when you need encouraged? Are you willing to listen to the words that come from a friend's heart even when they may sting a little or would you rather stay in the mud puddles of life and be brought down further and further into the pain? Are you one who'd rather have an easy solution or a healing solution for a life-lifting change?
Blessings,
Heather
