Table for 1; Joshua 1:9

 "Have I not commanded you?  Be strong and courageous.  Do not be afraid, do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go."  Joshua 1:9

Lately it's been a struggle in life.  The world seems out of control from the pandemic to the hate brewing in hearts around our country.  Loved ones are struggling with physical and emotional turmoil and it tends to spill over onto those of us that care.  I am not exempt from any of it, perhaps I take on the burden too much.  The Bible instructs us in Matthew 11:28-30, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yolk is easy and my burden is light."  He has simply asked that I cast my cares upon him so that my burden be light and yet... I try to carry it myself and I get weighed down from it all.  I pray and feel I turn it over to God and then I pick it right back up as if to say, "no God I got it" which is so far from the truth.  To be honest, I don't "got it" and even to think I do is why I get myself so down.

The other day I decided to have a pity party of 1, as I like to call it.  I woke wanting to cry, spent the day fighting the tears and then by evening I was emotionally depleted.  My pity party of 1 turned out to be not much fun at all and was allowing me to sink further into depression and sadness.  That's not a place that I like to be, and for the most part, I've never really spent much time there.  If we sat down and I went through my life story with you, you may understand that I could have chosen to dwell in the sad shallows of life very easily.  I could have chosen to allow all that has happened in my life to make me empty, cold and unhappy.  I could have chosen to allow it to define me and create for me a completely different life than the one I have today.  I could have chosen many different roads to walk down and choose to have a constant pity party of 1, but instead I chose to accept the yolk that God gave me to lighten my load.  I chose to be strong and courageous, to not fear what life throws at me nor to be discouraged because I know that my God is ALWAYS near.  So why the pity party at all, you may ask?  Good question.

I, like most of us, am weak.  I know the one who is strong and who gives me my strength to overcome life's challenges and difficulties.  I realized a long time ago, that without God I am nothing but a weak earthly vessel but with him, I can do all things and can be a strong force in this life.  BUT, God also knows me so intimately, that he knows that I can't do it alone.  So he gave me a tribe, a wonderful God-fearing group of women that recognize when I am struggling and come alongside me to lift me back up through their prayers, their love and support.  I never walk this journey alone, thanks be to God.  I need my tribe and sometimes they need me.  They are an incredible gift that I've been given.  I pray for them daily and I know they do the same for me.  They even respect that sometimes I will have my pity party of 1 and step back to let me have that time.  Gently, and sometimes not so gently, they  lift me back up.  God knew I would need them and he graciously placed them in my life.  He also gave me my Roger, who is my rock.  He, I believe, often knows me better than I know myself.  I am thankful that through all the choosing that I have done in life, that God too made choices for me that are for my good, he even tells us so in Jeremiah 29:11 (my life verse).

So what choices are you making in life?  Are you choosing to continue to make reservations at the pity party table or are you choosing to allow God to help you rise above all the chaos and noise?  Are you choosing to give your burden over to God or are you choosing to take the heavier load knowing you can't do it without him?  Are you choosing to be joyous each day or are you choosing to grumble and complain and wallow in the pits that can drag one down?  Life is not easy, our bodies give out, our minds can sometimes torment and our souls grow weary... but we have the choice to make to take God by the hand, stand alongside our tribes, and choose the road that he places us on where fear does not exist, courage is ours for the taking, and strength comes from the one who created us.  

Under His Wings,

Heather

DEDICATED TO MY TRIBE; Laura, Tanja and Elizabeth

and to my love, Roger, who always has my back

*ism; Another word for hate; Mark 12:29-31

"And Jesus answered him, The first of all the commandments is, Hear O Israel; The Lord our God is one Lord:  And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength:  this is the first commandment.  And the second is like, namely this, Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself.  There is none other commandment greater than these." KJV

The Message puts it like this, "Jesus said, "The first in importance is... 'so love the Lord God with all your passion and prayer and intelligence and energy.'  And here is the second: 'Love others as well as you love yourself.'  There is no other commandment that ranks with these.'"

I know many people feel King James is the only true word so I put it on here, but WOW, the Message drove the message of Christ home plain and simple... LOVE!!!  It wasn't a request, it was a command!  Love God and Love People.  I think that is pretty straight forward and leaves no room for interpretation.  And yet, this one supposedly simple commandment is the hardest of all for so many to do.  Many can find more reasons to hate than they can to love and that boggles my mind.  To me it takes so much energy to hate someone and to hate someone for the most outlandish reasons too.  I call them the "isms"  You all know them... racism, sexism, ageism, etc.  Did you know that currently there are 234 "isms" that one can associate with?  Again, that boggles my mind!

Lately I've seen a lot of ugly on social media and in the news.  Many cry out against a specific "ism" that seems to be pertinent to their own set of demographics or ideals.  Many tend to look at life ONLY through their own lenses and feel no one else can understand their pain or anger they feel against another who has displayed an "ism" towards them or their group, whatever group that may be. I've heard so many excuses as to why one "ism" is acceptable and another not so much.  I've had people tell me that I can't possibly understand their feelings on a specific "ism" because I've never walked in their shoes.  You know what... they are absolutely right!  I cannot understand fully another person's journey as each one is so unique and is only walked by a single life.  I don't know what it's like to be anything besides a white, Christian female who grew up poor, who has experienced many tragedies and pain that very few even know about.  I'm ok with that.  My story is just that, my story and I'm ok with my story because I like who I am today and it took my journey of both triumph and tragedy to get me to where I am today.  It took my journey to teach me about the great commandment to LOVE.  I could choose to continue to look only through my lenses of life lessons and personal demographics to see others, or I could choose to look through the lenses that we each have been equipped with that God gave us from the beginning.  I could choose anger, I could choose resentment, I could choose many things... but instead I choose love because that is what my Jesus commanded.  Love displaces hate.  Love removes the "isms" from the hearts of man.

In recent news we heard of a man, Ahmaud Arbery being shot and killed... his only crime at the time, the color of his skin.  Racism, an "ism" that has never made sense to me.  Sure I see differences in our genetic makeup as far as physical appearances, but beyond that we are plain and simple God's creation.  I've experienced this "ism" personally.  Yes, white people too can experience racism.  This "ism" isn't color blind and it isn't just a North American "ism"... it's global and has been going on for longer than I care to even think about.  When I heard the news report on Mr. Arbery, it brought back a time in my life when I was in his shoes.  I was in St. Louis, MO for a long weekend with my then husband and his two cousins to watch a St. Louis Cardinals game and explore the city a bit.  We decided we would take the long walk back from the stadium to our hotel that was closer to Union Station.  It was a perfect night for a long walk.  I tend to walk a little fast and was in a rather good mood... Cards had won.  My husband and his cousins were probably 20+ steps behind me goofing off and none of us paying much attention to anything around us because there really wasn't much going on and very few people out on the street.  This was back in the mid-late 90s.  I noticed three young men walking the opposite direction across the street from me that seemed to be enjoying the evening too but didn't pay too much attention to them until they took off running across the street towards me and got directly behind me with one whose breath touched my hair and said, "Cap Cap Whitey, you dead".  I felt my heart stop.  Then I heard running as my husband and his cousins had seen what was going on and ran to my defense.  The three young men ran back across the street and out of view while I tried to breathe again.  I could have allowed this to create an "ism" inside me.  I could have determine that all young black men are potentially violent and are out to hurt me but instead I chose love.  I don't know their story.  I don't know their journey nor what they had experienced in life that caused them that night to want to do harm to me because I was white.  But I do know what my Bible tells me and that is to love.  Until the story broke of Mr. Arbery, I had actually forgotten about this incident and the fear I felt that night.  I had forgotten about other similar times as well when I was shown the "true colors of isms" in my life because God gave me the lenses in my glasses to see the way he sees others and there is no "ism"... just love.

What lenses are you wearing today?  What "ism" has plagued you that you can't seem to look at someone through the lenses that Christ has waiting for you?  What stops you from accepting the differences of another whether it be their race, religion, sexual orientation or even gender?  There is one commandment that covers all the others and that is to love.  Lay down the heavy burden of hate and fear and begin to love even those that choose to hate you in return.  Change begins with each one of us and from that change can come new life.

Under His Wings,
Heather

Star Light Star Bright; Genesis 1:16-19

^"16God made two great lights-the greater light to govern the day and the lesser light to govern the night. He also made the stars. ¹⁷God set them in the vault of the sky to give light on the earth, ¹⁸to govern the day and the night, and to separate light from darkness. And God saw that it was good. ¹⁹And there was evening, and there was morning-the fourth day." The other night I sat around a bonfire in the cool of the evening, wrapped in a blanket, listening to the crackle of the fire and feeling the breeze against my skin. The skies became a bit brighter and I realized that the moon was trying to peak through the clouds casting shadows in and out of the flames. But as I gazed at the moon through the tree in front of me, Roger points to another bright spot behind me. It is the second brightest object you can find in the sky at night, it was the planet Venus. Did you know that some refer to Venus as the morning star? It's the only planet to rotate around the sun clockwise and has the slowest rotation around the earth. It's portrayed in such famous paintings as Vincent Van Gogh's 1889 painting, "The Starry Night". I actually have this painting hanging in my bedroom as it's one of my favorites. While sitting in my yard around the fire, I was fascinated by how big and bright Venus appeared even though it was so very far away. It was not lost on me, either, that God set our solar systems in order and has purpose and plan for all things to sustain us here on earth. He gave us light on the 4th day and he saw it was good! Can you imagine if he had left us in a world with only darkness? To never feel the sun on your face, or the warmth from it's embrace on our lands? He could have just stopped at the sun and the moon and that would have been sufficient, but he went one step further and gave us planets, stars and constellations beyond our own galaxies to marvel over. Why? Why would the creator of light choose to give us more than what we need? Have you ever thought about nature and why God gave us so many flowers, trees, plants, animals, birds, fish, etc? Have you ever thought about how special you are to him? Remember he created us too and tells us that he knitted us together in our mother's womb. We were created to be like him so he gave us free will, emotions and intelligence to be companions to him and rule over the earth. Keeping that in perspective, look around today, the world has flipped upside down from another creation, a virus, one without a cure and one on a mission to cause fear and devastation. In the matter of months our nation has gone from prosperous to unemployed, from freedom to lockdown, from having everything at our fingertips to waiting for the shelves to be stocked, and from hugging and being hugged to wearing masks, gloves and keeping a distance from one another. Everything that God gave us to delight us, the light that he gifted us with, this virus has taken and it has placed a great darkness over our nation. Oh but there is coming a time, when the morning star, our "Morning Star" will bring back the light into our lives and shine ever so much brighter. Revelations 22:16 says this, "I, Jesus, have sent My angel to testify to you these things for the churches I am the root and the descendant of David, the bright and morning star." This is a time for the church to remember that it is in Christ Jesus that we are rooted and it is he that shines brighter than Venus, the morning star that the morning star created. It is Jesus that will again create light in the darkness and bring healing to our nation. We can choose to look at this as a time of despair, meaning a complete absence of hope or we can choose to rest in that there will be joy in the morning, when the daystar rises in the east and restores health to our nation, to our world. We will mourn those that we will have lost but we will help our brothers and sisters find peace again. We will look to the light that was created on the fourth day and know that the light will always drown out the darkness whenever we call upon the bright and morning star, Jesus, to save us. Will you choose to live in the light of Christ today or in the darkness of the one who comes to steal, kill and destroy? Will you choose to not fear but to have hope that the glorious Morning Star will rise again and heal our nation? What do you choose this day? Under His Wings, Heather

You Don't Know Me; Isaiah 43:1-3

"But now, this is what the Lord says - he who created you, Jacob, he who formed you, Israel; "Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine.  When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you.  When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.  For I am the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior."

WOW!!!  Every time I read that scripture it sends chills up and down my arms...or as my dear friend calls them, holy bumps.  To think that the God of the universe formed me, calls me by my name and claims me as his own.  There is power in that even beyond what we can imagine.

I went to dinner tonight in a town where I didn't know anyone and no one knew my name.  I was just someone sitting at a table ordering food alone.  As I sat there, I thought about how once upon a time I would never have done that.  I would have gotten food and taken it back to my hotel room because I didn't want to sit alone.  Many people probably would never guess that about me.  There are many things that people don't know, some may never know me completely, and that's ok.  Some may know me too well... those people will forever be my friends because they know too much!  LOL

As I left the restaurant, I noticed a lady sitting in her truck all by herself eating her dinner.  I recognized that former me.  The one who had such insecurities and fears of being alone.  The one who worried about what others thought about me and the one who wondered if I was good enough, pretty enough, funny enough... the list goes on.  Some of you that know me today are probably shaking your head and can't begin to imagine me being a shy, timid young lady.  I was.  I didn't want to be judged.  I didn't want people to know that home wasn't so great a lot of days, some days it was down right a nightmare.  Then there were those other days where home was the best place on earth.  That's what pushed me to want more good days at home than bad when I had my own home. 

Many of the kids at school while growing up didn't know me.  I was the good church girl who let a few people in, never was mean or rude to anyone, I just never let anyone too close because they would see the bruises and scars and not just the ones on my body, but they might see the ones on my heart and I couldn't take that chance.  Taking that chance was too scary.  What if they made fun of me or couldn't understand?  I would be more alone than ever.  But I wasn't, I never was, I just didn't realize how opposite of the truth that was.  My God never left me alone.  He has been my constant companion.  It has been I who has sometimes shut him out, pushed him away and tried to hide because he knew I wasn't perfect.  My life wasn't perfect.  You see God knew I was a hot mess and still can be sometimes.  The amazing thing is that he still loves me anyway.  He knows me, by name... Luke 12:7 says, "Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered..."  Oh my goodness, do you know how many hairs have come and gone off my head?  That reminds me of just how loved I am and that he loves me inspite of knowing me. 

I am learning to love me and spend time just with me and I enjoy it.  I guess that means I have finally come to like myself and value myself for who I am and for whose I am.  I am a child of the King, I am a Princess.  Some would even say I am a royal pain.  :)  But my Heavenly Father, the King of Kings wouldn't have me any other way than I am right now, in this moment, as he continues to form me into his image.  I am like that lump of clay on the potter's wheel.  Just as the potter has spun me near to completion, something happens and I fall back into that lump ready to be remade.  One day this chick is gonna be completed, the wheel no longer needed and I will be called home to where everyone will know me, they will know me by name.  Here I may be a stranger in a strange land, but one day I will go home and will be reunited with my loved ones who have already gone ahead of me.  But, for today... I am going to keep shining, accepting that some days are good simply because God gave them to me and some days are great because he gave me people who do know me and love me enough to embrace me, flaws and all.  I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

Have you spent any time with just yourself lately, not doing busy work, but truly time alone?  Do you know who you are?  Do others know who you are?  God knows who you are, he's waiting for some time just with you to remind you of who you are to him. 

Under His Wings,

Heather

Babel; Genesis 11:6

"The Lord said, “If as one people speaking the same language they have begun to do this, then nothing they plan to do will be impossible for them."

I've not thought about this passage of the Bible for many years.  Until recently I never really had a need, perhaps, to reflect upon it.  The older I get, the more I travel, the more I travel, the more I experience differences in people.  Its those differences, to me, that make this world such a marvelous place to live.  Its those same differences that cause such chaos and discord, for some unknown reason.  I've never been one to understand disliking or distrusting someone due to a difference between us.  I guess you could say it was just the opposite.  I embrace differences and hope that I can learn something from everyone that crosses my path.  I know it was God who designed us all and in that design there is great purpose and plan.  Jeremiah 29:11 even tells us that very thing.  So if that is the case... why are people so afraid of the "differences" between us instead of being fascinated?  Why are people so quick to judge another because their skin has a different shade, language a different dialect or a faith that is different? 

I go back to the beginning where it all began in Genesis.  "Then God said, “Let us make mankind in our image..."  the word doesn't say a single image, but it says in OUR image.  Have you ever wondered about that?  Have you ever wondered about the sovereignty (supreme power) of our God?  He didn't have a single image in his creation, he created all of mankind.  I'm going to let you just ponder that for a bit.  No hurry... just think about that.

So from the very beginning God planned for our differences, from our skin, to our hair, to our shape, etc.  Our entire outer shell is a masterpiece created by God himself  ...in...our...likeness.  We awe over masterpieces around the world that artists have created and yet when it comes to the greatest masterpieces ever sculpted, we want to find faults and failures.  Why? 

I can't change the world nor can I change my nation as I have no God like powers.  If I did though, for just a while, I would make the entire world blind.  People would have to engage with one another without knowing what the other looked like.  People would have to come together to help one another because they would need one another.  Neighbor helping neighbor.  What was that scripture in the beginning... “If as one people speaking the same language they have begun to do this, then nothing they plan to do will be impossible for them."  That one language, my friend, is love.  Love would cover all things because it would grow out of the place where people came together for the common good of one another.  Love would flow because we no longer would place value on appearance or differences but value on the very hearts that beat within.   "Then NOTHING they plan to do will be impossible".  Luke 1:37; "For with God nothing is impossible".  If for only a while you could put your blinders on and not focus on what divides, but focus on what binds... this world would change and God could see all that he had made, and say it was very good.

I have grown so weary of seeing the negative images via media of one type or the other.  The hate that continues to grow is appalling from all sides.  People rioting and protesting, pointing fingers and saying such horrible hate-filled words.  But then for a few moments, it all stopped.  The hurricanes happened.  Media changed from the riots and racially fueled hatred to people pulling together because their neighbor was drowning.  Posts went viral, Pray for Florida... Pray for Texas... Pray for my Family began to fill the screens.  It wasn't pray for one race of people, one culture, one specific religion... it was pray for them all.  It was during the storms that we all saw each other for the first time again, not through our own selfish colored glasses, but through the lenses of our neighbor and the pain they were feeling.  Why does it take a tragedy for us to see clearly?  To see beyond the differences and through the lenses of love and compassion?

Can you take your biased glasses off for a while to allow yourself to go blind?  Can you reach out your hand to the one who may seem the most different from you and embrace that God created you both in his image?  Can you remove labels, stereotypes and past hurts to allow healing to begin?  Can you allow the healing rains of the "man-made hurricanes" to wash away the ugly and restore the beauty that God created?  Can you look in the mirror and tell yourself, its time to make a change starting with the one starring back at you?

Man in the mirror

Under His Wings,
Heather

Got Plans Tonight? Hebrews 10:36

"You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised."

The past 7 months wasn't something I ever thought I would experience... nor had it ever crossed my mind to be part of, but God knows how to bless us even when you don't see it coming.  I hadn't considered ever taking into my home a complete stranger, let alone a teenage girl from a foreign country but God knew that we both needed one another at this time.  You see his plans are greater than our own. 

Emma came to live with me through a student exchange program.  It was a last minute decision for me to take on the care of her when I realized I had more home than was needed for just myself.  The house just felt empty until she arrived and made a house a home.  She brought with her a different world, a different culture and a different view of life along with a messy room!  She was 16 and I was well lets just let something be a secret, shall we?  :)  Since her arrival we have had a home filled with laughter, deep conversations, adventures and vegging on the couch movie binging.  We have shared so many cups of Starbucks that I lost count and we've shared life where I've introduced her to my world and she allowed me into hers.  We've spent quiet time together, we have done homework on Sunday afternoons, we've gone on walks and long drives.  She has become like my own and I didn't even know how much she would grow to mean to me.

God has blessed me the past 7 months with Emma along with her buddies... I call them the International Brigade.  I've met other students from different countries and have enjoyed them as well.  They have showed me that in this great big world, we may have differences but there are some things that we share in common and that is that we need one another to feel complete.  God knew before the world began that we would be designed to rely on one another, to learn from one another and to feel a small sample of the love that he has for us through our relationships.  You see he had a plan for us and we didn't even know it. 

After losing my son and then going thru numerous disappointments of trying to have more children, I felt my dream of being a mom was over.  I couldn't understand that... the Bible tells us that God grants us the desires of our heart and yet my desire had always been to be a mom.  I wrestled with this scripture for many years and couldn't understand why the one thing I had desired, was the one thing God didn't bless me with after losing Nigel.  I tried to come up with explanations such as... I did get to be a mom, just didn't get to keep him long.  Then I began to realize, there have been kids along the way that needed me.  I got to give what every mother gives... big hugs, advise and unconditional love along with guidance and pointing them to Christ. 

This time with Emma has allowed me to again be a temporary Mom to a very special young lady who I will love for always as a daughter.  She will move back to Italy and I will miss her terribly but I will know that she was brought into my life for a purpose and fulfilled in me the desire of my heart... to be a mom again.  God fulfilled his promise to give me the desires of my heart.  I never specified how I wanted to be a mom and his plan was far different than what I imagined but I have been so blessed. 

I could have been content in this house and never opened that door up to the unknown adventure that was about to take place, and I would have been robbed of a great blessing.  In life we sometimes fear the unknown and instead of reaping the harvest of the reward we lose out on what God promised us.

What about you?  What blessing is God still waiting to give you that you simply haven't opened that door to yet?  What heart desire do you have still lingering?  Have you looked around to see if you've some how missed it or are you about to miss it because fear holds you back?  God has plans for you... so what do you say?  Got plans tonight? 

Under His Wings,
Heather

Addiction; Philippians 2:14

"Do everything without grumbling or arguing."  I bet you are a bit confused right now why I would choose this scripture with the post title being "addiction".  I've watched social media, listened to countless conversations, seen such non-sense on the news that it turns my stomach as we become a society that has become a nation of chronic complainers... people who have become addicted to grumbling, complaining and all around negative thinking and talking.  Its become an epidemic!

Do you know that the word "joy" is found 218 times in the NIV Bible?  JOY!  Not grumbling or complaining or bad mouthing one another but for us to have JOY!  I don't know about you but I would so rather have joy in my spirit than a spirt of grumbling.  I would rather look around to find the good in people, to find how we are alike and can share in a responsibility to make this life a life filled with joy, laughter and peace.  What I find though is that so many are looking for allies who share in their addiction to grumbling and complaining.  That has to grieve the heart of God.  Did you know that God actually commands us to shout joyfully to the Lord and all the earth??  We are commanded to serve the Lord with gladness, come before him with joyful singing!  Be glad in the Lord and rejoice!  I could go on and on... but I think you are getting the point.

So why is it that we choose to grumble and complain and be disheartened?  I know life is a challenge, believe me... I've had more challenges to overcome than many know but I still count it ALL joy for the Lord continues to bless me and grow me into something more beautiful.  I'm not talking a physical beauty, but I am talking about a heart that finds joy even in the small things, that finds peace in the quiet of his spirt and finds love when I least expect to find it.  I can still find something each day to say Thank You Lord for blessing me with.... fill in the blank.  Or thank you Lord that my family and friends are still here today or that I got out of bed or that I have a new challenge that is going to continue to define my character and create a heart in me that is after my heavenly father.  Will it be easy... NOOO!  But if it were all easy, would we ever really grow?  Would we ever truly appreciate the blessings we have?  Our human nature fights us at every turn and will look to find a reason to grumble even if we truly have no reason to grumble... why?  Because we have become a nation addicted to drama and grumbling!!

Over the years I have had many comment that they seldom see me without a smile on my face.  Its not because I'm not facing hardship, sickness or issues, but its because I have the joy of the Lord residing in me and I know deep in my knower that all will work out.  I have the smile on my face because it is well in my soul, maybe not in my life...but in my soul.

I challenge you as you read this right now to pray against the spirit of grumbling, complaining and being negative and to spend the next 30 days finding a blessing each day, to refrain from letting anything that resembles a grumble to escape from your lips.  Are you willing to take up this challenge or has your addiction become too much of a strong hold on your spirit?

This challenge may require you to turn away from social media, it may require you to turn off your TV and radio.  It may challenge you to look at others differently.  This challenge may cause you to look at yourself differently.  This challenge may defeat your addiction to grumbling and allow joy to be your companion again even during difficult times.  I promise you, you won't regret saying yes.  You may find a new addiction in its place...An addiction of sharing joy with others, of being a positive influence to another or simply finding peace within your soul.

Who is with me?  Can you do it?  Can you lay down the grumbling and accept joy?  The world around you may not change during the next 30 days while you fight against your addiction of grumbling, but then again it may...one person at a time.

Under His Wings,
Heather